I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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