You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
