I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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