my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
