Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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