Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
