Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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