She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
