I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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