i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
