Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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