garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
