I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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