sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Randomize
