Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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