HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
