Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Someone came in the potted fern
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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