fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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