I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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