I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
