so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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