why didn't you poke me back
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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