it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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