Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
