it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
