Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
