:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
