And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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