Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
this will be a night to untag.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
