State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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