Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I got inside last night via doggy door
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
