i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize