So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
