i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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