Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
