you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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