i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
