i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
