I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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