Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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