Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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