So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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