how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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