I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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