***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
