Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
