Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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