Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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