Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize