If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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