Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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