i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
