You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
