Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
