OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
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Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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