Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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