I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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