I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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